My Mother's Day Strategy
This is going to be short because it's about to be Mother's Day and I need to pull back a bit myself and do a little caring for my own heart. And this post is probably more for moms in the throws of life with little kids- school age kids- and even teenagers; I sure hope it doesn't apply to moms of grown kids or I'll be really bummed out when I get to that place in motherhood.
Anyway, my survival tactic for Mother's Day for the past 17 years has been something I typically won't let myself say in everyday life: No expectations, no disappointment. Mother's Day and my birthday. These are the only two times I allow that to be my mantra.
I just don't get super hyped up about the two days of the year that are supposed to be about me. I think it might be an unrealistic expectation (to have a day all about me), but I could be wrong. Instead, I get very clear with my husband about what I would like those days to look like. Typically, since I am an introvert, part of it includes time to be alone so I can introvert. Another part includes being together with all my kids and my husband because they are my very favorite people on the planet. If those two things happen, along with the cards and the little gifts from the kids (so thankful for thoughtful teachers who take the time to have the kids make the sweetest crafts), then I am pretty much good to go.
I don't put much expectation on the gifts. I don't put much expectation on my husband to be creative and come up with surprises. And I definitely don't put pressure on my kids to meet my emotional needs. As a counselor, I see too many times, parents making it really hard for their kids, or partners making it really hard for the other, to meet the their demands and expectations of birthdays, etc. and then everyone dreads the special days. It feels impossible to get it right.
So yep- my Mother's Day this year will be spent on the sidelines of soccer games, which I knew in advance so last Saturday I took my day so I could introvert. Then somewhere this weekend we will make some space for all seven of us to be together, open cards, and enjoy the sweet little gifts the teachers had the kids make . . . and that will be enough. My heart will be full.
Happy Mother's Day, Mamas- you have the most important job in the world-- you are not replaceable. So be sure to take care of your heart- let your partner know what you need this weekend- what you hope it will look like, how you want to be honored. And keep your eyes and heart open to see the smallest gifts of life and love and family . . .
Thanks a bunch for reading- and sorry for any typos (I only had 20 minutes to write this!)--
Lanie (NCC, and Mom of 5)
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