Who You Are

Where you are is not who you are.  

Read that again: Where you are is not who you are.

Our seasons do not define us.  Our losses and failures are not who we are. The diagnosis does not overshadow our essence. 

When we suffer a tremendous disappointment we are not only at risk for losing our way, but we are also at risk for losing our identity. We can become that person.  The one where people see our struggle as our label before remembering the person we were and still exist to be.  

Suffering, like success, is a tunnel we pass through time and time again on our life’s journey. 

Oftentimes we don’t see it this way.  The tunnel gets so dark and so cold and goes so deep.  It does feel like a forever, until the end of time, imprisonment.  

When we hurt it’s very natural for us to lock into the pain and see no way out.  Our culture reinforces this with labels that start with, “She’s the one whose husband left her with three kids . . .” or, “He’s the one whose wife keeps getting hospitalized for mental health issues . . .” or, “That’s the kid whose parents are drug addicts.” 

Divorce. Death.  Addiction. Abuse. Abandonment. In our black and white world, it easily becomes our identifier.

What’s the solution?  How do we inoculate ourselves from where we are delineating who we are?

I am not entirely sure, but two things come to mind. 

First, do your part. Start seeing people and speaking about people in their entirety before you oversimplify their existences by their current circumstances.  

Second, when you are the one journeying through the suffering stages and phases of life, try to surround yourself with people who remind you of who you are and who are meant to be; people who will hold sacred space for you while you are in process and pain, but who also will not allow you to accept the current struggle as how the rest of your very short existence on this planet will be defined.

 So whether you are on top of the world, or at the bottom of the heap, hold onto the truth that where you are is not who you are. You are so much more than that. 

Dive Deeper…

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