Marriage Workshop
You hear it all of the time- the statistic that marriages fail 50% of the time. Some of you took the risk and got married anyway, having tremendous faith in one another and the love you share. Bravely, you took a major step toward each other and a future together; even if the odds were stacked against you.
Now that you’ve been together for a while, challenges have probably come your way- ones you didn’t expect. With those challenges, conflicts often arise and so then the real threats to the relationship start to show up. A lot of times, most of the time actually, the real breakdowns happen way beneath the surface. Those breakdowns aren’t so much about what’s happening right now, although it feels that way. And most likely, as you face difficulties that are part of life and part of life in close relationship, doubts are creeping in about where you will fall in what we know about the statistics.
Relationships are complicated and crazy. They start off with fireworks, lots of hope, and boundless energy. That’s by design. Then things settle as relationships shift into new phases of growing roots and stability. When storms hit, those roots of connection can grow stronger or be shaken apart. Because so many of us come from broken homes and broken somethings that happened along the way, because we watch movies and sing love songs and watch 12 second reels about instant love and easy love, we possess underdeveloped understandings of love and relationships. We feel disappointment and like failures as we stack our experiences against the backdrop of the movies, reels, and songs.
There is good news in all of this. Even though relationships are clearly complex, social scientists have put a lot of effort into solid research to make sense of what to us, often doesn’t make sense. Relationship science has uncovered nuances about relationships that clearly map out the things that can be done so couples can find the path that puts them on the more desirable side of the statistics. What needs to happen though is more couples need to be exposed to the variables that predict relationship success sooner than later. Often, at least from where I sit as a therapist, couples don’t come to a place of thinking they need to learn new ways of doing the relationship until after they have already experienced tremendous pain and disappointment in their relationship. At that point, it’s very very difficult and labor intensive to recover what’s been lost.
Soul Care Place is launching an online marriage course in a few days and the heart behind it is to teach you more adaptive and constructive ways of journeying though the rough patches and tight spots that occur in every marriage. You’ll have a chance to figure out your loops, learn different ways of communicating, better understand your and your partner’s stuff, and gain greater clarity on how to utilize new resources to build a stronger connection.
It's a countercultural and disruptive move to try and build differently rather than just tear down and walk away as so many do. In the five weeks we spend together, you’ll have a chance to gather lifelong building blocks that you can (and will need to) go back to again and again as you establish a legacy for your family. It’s exciting to know the resources exist that can help your marriage be different than the statistics. We’d be honored if you’d let us come alongside you for the next few weeks.